March 10, 2014

I feel like I never have enough time.

I don't know that anything I do will ever change that - and that makes a bigger problem.

I want a solution, but everything I do either just doesn’t help, or makes the problem worse.

If I sacrifice sleep for productivity, then I lose more time being unproductive and exhausted. On top of lowering the overall total amount of time I have available by not sleeping and shaving years off my possible lifespan.

When I give myself breaks to slow down, enjoy myself, rest, and just give myself more time to breathe, then I end up just needing to work double time to make up for lost productive hours.

And yet, at the same time, it was really satisfying to just sit on my ass and do nothing this weekend, despite all the things I wanted to get done.

Spring is fast approaching. Today is a wonderful, warm (in context) and bright new day outside. The last thing I want to do is be cooped up inside. Yet it will be 6 p.m. before I get home and have the potential to enjoy any of it. It might be dark, cooler, cloudier or just not as nice as it was this morning.

Hell, I don’t even know that I will go outside when I get home, even if it is still nice.

**** and I are hanging out after class (I think). Typically that just involves watching TV or playing video games, etc. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that at all - that’s what we love doing and that’s all we really could do during the winter.)

I just checked the weather and it says it’s almost 70 degrees at home. I want to go home and find something to do outside to enjoy my time both with **** and being outside in the weather.

All these reasons to go outside, yet I have quite a few reasons not to.

There are a few things **** and I want to do inside.

I have a decent amount of homework due tomorrow that I need to get done.

But I can try. As D*** always said, Just do it, don’t think about it. I can do the homework later.