Strengths

“No, you said it’s break time, that doesn’t mean just start working on something else.”

I don’t even know how to relax at this point in my life. Even when I find something else I enjoy doing, somehow it ends up being work instead of relaxing, anyway.

[[Ironically, as I decide to sit in bed and write this to vent and relax, I actually managed to let myself get back into enjoying an episode of Bob’s Burgers and got distracted.]]

Since I still can’t fully enjoy video games as “down time” anymore (since I still feel the need to record and treat it as “work” anytime I play a game) recently, I’ve been marathoning TV shows. To be honest, I don’t even remember what all I’ve made it through at this point. Elementary, Dexter (for the fifth time), Hannibal [[such a horrible last season]], Heroes, Community, The Office (USA), Bob’s Burgers - working on that one currently. There are more, but I can’t keep track.

Well, as I was approaching the end of Bob’s Burgers, I came across The #AskGaryVee Show on YouTube. I’ve heard of Gary Vaynerchuk before through various podcasts and stuff, the guy is a legend, and as I’ve watched his show, it’s very clear why. So I got hooked pretty quickly and have watched like 20 episodes in the past couple days.

That’s great and all, except that’s still work, not play/relaxation. I’m learning, I’m taking notes, I’m strategizing ways to work more efficiently or change my priorities with my business to be more successful.

So I took binge watching/marathoning content and still somehow made it a work thing. Only me.

[[Another Bob’s Burgers episode down and distracting me. Bob bought a $300 knife. That’s totally me.

Actually, to be honest I’m not as sure where I’m going with this; I had something else I wanted to go after, but it started by going in a different direction and I’ve been chasing that.

Joke in the show:

Louise: “But it’s the weekend!”

Gene: “Everyone’s supposed to go to Bernies!”      I love this show.

Keep in mind it’s currently 4:51 AM as I’m writing this. Pretty normal since the move.]]

Ironically - and by a stretch/string of thought processes that probably won’t make sense to anyone else - but something that Gary said in one of his show episodes helped me find some clarity on both stuff I should be doing business-wise, and personally.

And then something else he said really got me thinking. Something he always pushes is that he’s been successful by playing to his strengths, only his strengths, and not giving his weaknesses a second thought outside of self-awareness. I had been thinking about this before (again, he talks about it regularly) and trying to figure out what work I can outsource, but somehow a more recent episode got me thinking more strongly on this.

[[Another episode down. This one had Game of Thrones references in it. Love it. Now I’m feeling peckish. Time for some graham crackers, I guess.]]

What are my strengths?

[[I literally just went back to add more shows to the list. wtf]]

But really - what ARE my strengths? Like… I’m reliable, dependable, I have a badass work ethic. Those are traits, not strengths.

Strengths… I am great at production. I have a great voice and I’m learning how to put it to good use. I understand technology extremely easily, and I can do pretty well explaining to others how to do it in videos.

So… basically what I’m doing now. Seems pretty simple, right? Maybe it is.

[[Another episode down. I did not expect to be up this late. >< 5:35 AM now.]]

Maybe it’s that easy. Maybe I’m just over-thinking things. If I could go all-in on my tech channel and stop worrying about gaming videos, random new side-project ideas, etc., maybe I’d be a lot better off.

But would I? I don’t know how to turn the rest of “me” off. It doesn’t just work that way.

I’m so passionate about gaming. I can’t just not incorporate it into my workflow somehow. I can’t. But what I have done is found a new strategy to just keep it casual and fun, play to my strengths and not making it feel like a chore/obligation to keep up with the kinds of gaming videos I don’t like. It can be a fun, creative outlet for me when I want it to be. I think.

But I still keep coming up with new channel or project ideas that distract me from the tech channel. A new audiobook/voiceover-based channel I want to do, more vlogs, news shows, podcasts, etc.

Is that a bad thing? I can only put so much time into the tech channel before it’s almost “too much.” Maybe. I don’t know.

I have more content than I know what to do with, and while there are still products sitting here waiting to be reviewed, I’m on-schedule for once.

But if I played to my strengths more in this, I might be doing better. And unfortunately, that’s the name of the game in being successful here. It will be a long while before I reach a point of just being content where I’m at in terms of sustainability.

For my own definition of success - hell yeah, I’ve created a lot of success for myself, especially recently. But for sustainability - if I want to support myself on this, I have a long way to go yet.

But to really play only to my strengths and pass off some of my weaknesses, I need a team. And I’ve had shit all luck doing that. I have one guy who can throw some graphics together for me from time to time, but that’s about it. There’s so much extra day-to-day stuff that I still need to pass off to focus on the main big picture.

The irony here is that in working towards being more efficient and outsourcing work, I’m having to fill that role for other people to make ends meet. My job with Freedom! being the most important, given that it’s my main salary that pays the bills.

But I’ve also picked up some editing work for a friend’s business, and I have my Fiverr gigs.

So while I’m trying to eliminate the non-primary-focus work of my own, I’m picking up that same work for other people. Kinda not how things are supposed to be. But alas, I got bills to pay, a hungry mouth to feed, “ain’t nothing in this world for free,” etc. etc.

Alright, it’s 6 AM. Time to sleep. Just venting some thoughts.

Sometimes it helps, sometimes it doesn’t. Not sure if I’ll do another one of these for a little while, it took a lot more time and energy than just watching a couple episodes of Bob’s Burgers and going to sleep. I didn’t really get much clarity from this, just a bit more self-awareness.

By all means feel free to share your thoughts or feedback in the comments… or however this… Tumblr thing… works.

Here’s to trying to sleep before the sun comes up.